Toker T. Gopherson
Chief Vibes Officer (VCO)
Toker T. Gopherson
Toker T. Gopherson is what his old buddy Carl Spackler calls “a completely different kind of varmint, totally different.” While other gophers are out there dodging plastic explosives at Bushwood Country Club, Toker chose a higher path – literally. Got his degree in Cinderella Story Sciences, with a minor in Total Consciousness (which is nice). Now he’s running The Blazed Burrow, sharing deep thoughts and good vibes from his underground office. The Dalai Lama himself keeps asking for his newsletter.
“They say don’t get high on your own supply, but what if your supply is wisdom? And what if that wisdom is, like, already totally high?” – Toker T. Gopherson
Toker’s Current Stash
Name
Philosopher’s Stoned
Potency
87%
Effects
- Deep thoughts
- Existential giggles
- Snack prophecies
Description
Makes you question everything, especially why you can’t find your keys that are in your hand.
Time to Bejeezus Belt
4.20 seconds
Name
Quantum Kush Theory
Potency
92%
Effects
- Space-time confusion
- Physics epiphanies
- Dimensional snacking
Description
You’ll be in multiple states of consciousness simultaneously. Schrödinger’s nap optional.
Time to Bejeezus Belt
3.14 seconds
Name
Procrastinator’s Paradise
Potency
84%
Effects
- Couch magnetism
- Tomorrow syndrome
- Instant relaxation
Description
I’ll finish writing this description later… or maybe tomorrow.
Time to Bejeezus Belt
Eventually…