Picture this: Our beloved mascot Toker T. Gopherson once spent three whole days trying to contact Carl Spackler. Makes sense, right? I mean, who better to reach out to than the legendary groundskeeper who really “gets” the whole gopher situation? Toker tried everything – leaving elaborate tunnel messages, staging a synchronized dance routine with plastic explosive props, and even attempted morse code using golf balls. (We’re still finding golf balls in weird places around the office.)
After watching Toker spend 72 hours practicing his “temporary permanent relocation” pitch and perfecting his Bill Murray impression in the bathroom mirror, we realized something profound: sometimes the simplest solution is the best solution. That’s why we created this super straightforward contact form.
No need for explosives, no requirement to understand total consciousness on your deathbed, and absolutely zero knowledge of Dalai Lama quotes required. Just fill out the fields below, and your message will reach us faster than Toker can say “So I got that going for me, which is nice” (which, by the way, takes him about 45 minutes because he keeps getting sidetracked by how profound it is).
Don’t worry – while Toker’s still working on his groundskeeping certification and perfecting his C-4 butterfly technique, our team of somewhat-more-grounded individuals checks these messages regularly. We promise to get back to you before Toker finishes explaining his theory about how the entire universe exists within a single golf ball.